Military Divorce

There are two points to be made here. Firstly members of the military often serve overseas and secondly, members of the military get divorced.

Now you would be reasonable to assume that an overseas posting in a war zone would be fertile ground for a divorce. The strain on the spouse back home might be intolerable. If there are children to care for, the worries of the children that their father or mother is in harm's way only racks up the pressure on the parent at home. If the serving spouse is absent for a year or even longer facing all sorts of dangers and pressures, they could find themselves falling out of love.

But surprisingly the statistics don't show a marked increase in military divorce when overseas postings are involved. This could be due in part, and a large part at that, to the pro-active work by the various branches of the military in helping married couples. There are programs run by the military to help couples before one goes overseas and programs for the partner left behind and then additional programs for couples when the serving member returns from duty overseas. The relatively stable rates of divorce within the military despite recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are a strong indication that support services within the military are working.

The only real change in divorce statistics within the military in the recent war years has been to do with women. The number of female military personnel who have obtained a divorce is far higher than those marriages which fail but have only the male spouse as a member of the military. In fact the female military divorce statistics are at least double the rate of male military divorces. Why this is so is yet to be determined. The information is quite recent and not enough time has elapsed during which surveys can be conducted.

One interesting point about military divorce is the so-called missing number of divorces. There are people who argue that the huge strain on marriages when a spouse is overseas in a war zone is not reflected in the statistics because members of the armed services resign. So great is the influence of war duties that military members leave and as a result, if they divorce soon thereafter, their statistics are not counted in military surveys.

As a side issue, because the law now allows military pensions to be counted as family property, many serving personnel resign from the military to prevent their pension being shared for life by their former spouse; the number of years of the marriage being a factor in deterring the amount of the pension which is given to the ex-spouse.

Marriage Support Services

Proactive programs are in place and have been for some time. The military has taken the initiative in helping military couples deal with their marriage problems and particularly so in recent times of wars.

The Marines run communication workshops where married couples are shown ways to better relate to one another and to solve conflicts. The Navy does similar things but over a longer training session using weekend retreats. The Army has taken a whole-person approach to the matter by running programs aimed at improving family life.

The thinking is that if the education, housing, child care and health care issues are strong programs and in place then there will be fewer pressure points for a military marriage. In addition the Army has a "Strong Bonds" program run by Army chaplains which aims to assist service personnel in the area of personal relationships.

Then there is the "Battlemind" program which is designed specifically for troops returning from an overseas tour and in more recent times from a theatre of war. Here the troops are made aware of possible problems they could face after their long absence from their spouse and family.

The FRG or Family Readiness Groups is another often praised initiative which consists of seminars for spouses and families to prepare for their military partner before they go overseas and then when they are due to return home.

So with all these activities it is not surprising that military divorce statistics do not show figures significantly different from those comparable figures in civilian life. The one rider here though is that the Pentagon lists all military marriages at the beginning of the year and then those which exist at the end of the 12 month survey. They do not take into account the addition of new recruits, resignations and retirements. This seems a somewhat suspect survey but it has used the same criteria for many years and so is deemed to be reasonably reliable.

Another missing Pentagon statistic is that of possible divorce. In 2006 for example, a survey of troops serving overseas reported that 20% believed there was a good prospect their marriage would end in divorce.

However war in general does not appear to a factor in military divorce. A survey studied military marriages for 5 years before the September 11 2001 attacks and then for 5 years after the terrorist tragedy. Divorce rates were similar.

One section of the military which doesn't get as much publicity as the regular services is made up of the National Guard and Reservists. Surveys suggest that these sectors have a larger incidence of divorce than other sectors of the military and even of civilian statistics. It should be said that claims of divorce rates as high as 60% of National Guard marriages have been made although no official surveys have been published to verify such claims.

Divorce statistics do not show any significant variation in military divorce when personnel are engaged in a war overseas. The military has a wealth of support services but one problem seems to be reluctance on behalf of some couples to actually seek help. Military bases can be isolated places and some people are reluctant to discuss their marital problems thinking it might become gossip within the base.

Perhaps the lower than expected divorce rate is due not so much to the excellent support services but as much to the resilience of the men and women of the military.

Here are additional resources you might be interested in:

What are the Benefits of a Military Divorce?

What does your Divorce Attorney need to know about your Military Divorce?

Factors Contributing to Increased Military Divorce Rates

What is the Difference between a Military Divorce from a Regular Divorce?

What are the Effects of Military Pension and Divorce?

More information on Military Divorce click here.

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