Free Divorce Information

The Ministry of Defence (MOD) has a web site with a vast array of information. If you are the spouse of a serving member of Her Majesty's armed services, you may find the answer to your question on this site. Mind you it does take some hard work to weave your way through the maze, let alone decipher the text.

Divorce law, like so many other laws, is full of conditions, exemptions and rules within the rules. If you, as a spouse or former spouse of a member of the British armed forces, have any questions about your rights following a divorce, you would be well advised to consult a lawyer specializing in military divorce. Here is an example of how complicated an issue can become.

A serving officer retired from the British army shortly before his first divorce. Four years later he re-married. Since leaving the army, the former officer has received his pension in addition to his salary. This will increase when he turns 65. The officer and his second wife are preparing to divorce and the second wife wants to know what part, if any, of the officer's pension she is entitled to claim. The matter is made even more complicated because the rules on Service pensions have recently been amended.

The above example illustrates how some issues within a military divorce take an expert to provide a credible explanation. Soldier on.

One possible answer to the query from wife 2 is that the pension was gained before the officer and his second wife married and as such, if any former wife is to share in part of the pension, it will be former wife number 1. How much she will receive depends on a number of factors including how long they were married, the age, health and projected longevity of the officer. Yes, it is complicated.

Friendly Help

The Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen and Families Association - Forces Help (SSAFA Forces Help) is a charity working for the welfare of ex-servicemen and women and their families. As a spouse of a former serving officer you would be well advised to make contact with this organization.

SSAFA does many good things and is located in countries where British forces are deployed such as Germany, Cyprus and Gibraltar. Apart from medical services and social services, they provide expert advice and counselling on issues relating to marriage. They provide a confidential telephone counselling service which operates from 10.30am to 10.30pm every day including Christmas Day.

If you choose to separate as a first step towards divorce and you are living in a foreign land - your spouse has been appointed to this region - you may find it difficult to obtain accommodation upon your initial return to the UK. Family and friends may not be available or you may feel unhappy telling them of your troubles. This is where the SSAFA comes into its own. Their friendly and professional staff are able to give practical advice and help to get you back on your feet and moving forward with the rest of your life. Army Wags gives more information.

The Times are a-Changing

We all have a vision of the typical military spouse. It's the woman who travels wherever her husband is appointed or, if he is on active duty, waits at home hoping for his safe return. And there are numerous support groups for the wives of those in the armed services. In fact these support groups are dominated by civilian women. But that picture is changing.

This is because the armed services are nowadays far more open to female recruits than ever before and as a result, the highest increase in military divorce is from female soldiers.

Perhaps recent engagements in the Middle East have exacerbated the situation but female soldiers are applying for divorce at a faster rate than are male soldiers. Why is this so? No-one can say definitively and even more unknown is the typical spouse of these divorcing female soldiers. Are the male spouses also in the military? We can be certain there are far fewer support groups for male partners of military divorces.

Should this article be pitched as much to men as to women? Or even more to men? There are civilian husbands who have few if any social outlets to meet one another and to discover the role and duties of their military wives. Is this a new social problem hitherto undiscovered?

The Armed Services Services

In recent years there have been spikes in the number of military divorces although overall the rate has remained relatively level. Why have there been surges? Again the answer to why is hard to say but the armed services certainly take the matter seriously and have created programs to help couples. This may be your situation. Before you separate and divorce, such a program may be worth trying to see if the problems in your marriage can be sorted out.

Programs led army chaplains with weekend retreats for married couples are one way the armed services try to overcome the problems within a military marriage. The loneliness and isolation, the separation and the daily threat to life and limb all take their toll on marriages. Spouses would do well to consider taking part in these activates.

Be Aware

It may seem strange in an article about helping the spouse of a serving member of the armed services to talk about not getting married in the first place but it does bear thinking about. Life in the military can be vastly different from life in Civvy Street. Many couples marry when young and if one partner then departs for a year or more abroad, inevitably there will be strains upon the marriage. Sadly those strains sometimes lead to the failure of the marriage.

Perhaps the armed services could conduct pre-marriage courses explaining the likely difficulties of enforced separation due to military service. Perhaps the wedding being delayed or not taking place until a more secure future together is established is a worthwhile option.

The armed services of Britain have a long and proud tradition. This island has sent its men and women to fight in countries around the world. But even with the change in weaponry and military tactics, couples still marry and sometimes the issue becomes, "Did I marry the man or the army"? And now it is even, "Did I marry the woman or the army?"

If trouble arises in your marriage to a member of the military, whilst despair and unhappiness may be ever present, so too are valuable and helpful services to make it easier for you to achieve a new start to your life.

Here are additional resources you might be interested in:

How to Get a Military Separation in UK

How to Conduct a Do-It-Yourself Divorce in the UK?

How much does it Cost to Hire a Divorce Lawyer in UK?

Are you considering getting a divorce? There's an excellent ebook about deciding whether to Get a Divorce or Stay In the Relationship. Every couple should read this before making the decision.

If you're on the verge of having a divorce, read this to Save Your Marriage.