Free Divorce Information

Divorce can be a stressful time, and can affect not only the couple involved but their children and other members of their family and friends.

Emotional turmoil and financial worries can be overwhelming, preventing the necessary process of picking up and starting over after the marriage. It is important to recognise, when going through a divorce that it is not only yourself that may be affected, and that recovery from such a significant emotional trauma is an ongoing process. There is no quick-fix solution to your situation.

It is sometimes recommended to spend time alone at the beginning of the breakdown of the relationship, to ensure that any decisions made are actually yours and not those of well-meaning though protective friends. Once the process has been initiated, it can be helpful to make sure that you do spend time with people close to you. It can be tempting to withdraw inside the horror of the experience, so ensuring you at least spend short periods of time away from the issue and with those that care for you, can help prevent this.

Divorce can lead to all sorts of problems in your life, which once the legal side of things is finalised, you are left to come to terms with.

Self-esteem

Losing the relationship with the one you love, especially if you have discovered that maybe they have been having an affair or have not been truthful to you can be soul-destroying. It is imperative to rebuild your self-esteem, and work the situation around to a positive event in your life, with which you can learn and grow.

A lot of this can be done yourself. Taking time to look after yourself, indulge in a day off or a trip to a spa. This can do absolute wonders to boost well-being, giving you the strength and mindset to adjust to your new life.

If you prefer to boost your self-esteem, or simply vent your frustration at the changes in your life seemingly inflicted by your 'other half', using the internet the possibilities are endless. There are a lot of great websites that offer support in areas such as single mums, parents who have been separated from their children and those that have found themselves single and need advice to get moving in life again.

This form of support can be very useful. There are generally people online at all times of day. If you are feeling the need to discuss your situation with someone, you can do so whenever you like, without any commitment or embarrassment. Then you can end the conversation whenever you wish!

Financial Matters

Money worries are a major element of divorce proceedings. Who gets what? Will I be able to stay in my home? Will I be able to survive?

There are certainly people to contact regarding these matters:

The Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) can offer general advice and usually run sessions when specialists in the field you require advice upon will attend to answer specific questions. Where CAB cannot advise immediately they can obtain proper answers for you. All these services are free.

The Citizens Advice can help with queries to a certain point; beyond this a solicitor should be consulted. There are fees attached to this, however if you are on Income Support or benefits you can approach Legal Aid who may be able to offer some relief in this area.

Looking After your Children

Children suffer the separation of their parents in different ways. The long term effects of divorce on children is becoming more apparent, and the way the matter is dealt with by those close to them is important in the outcome.

There are many ways to support your children through divorce. It is important not to spend the time 'putting down' the other parent; they should be allowed to continue their relationship in their own way. There are support groups specifically set up to help children understand what and why this is happening.

Gingerbread is a support group set up for lone parents, by lone parents. They are active throughout the country, and offer the chance to meet people in similar situations in your local area, if you need that face-to-face contact.

Relate is another well-known counselling group in the UK. They provide full relationship services, often being the first point of call when a relationship first starts to struggle. They offer counselling, mediation sessions, and can offer both parents advice on how to handle divorce and the effects it may have on their children. Where all else fails at home, they also provide one-to-one counselling for children who may not be able to deal with the situation. There are 103 centres throughout the UK, giving a personalised service to those that need it.

Another website written specifically for children is It's Not Your Fault. This is great site for reinforcing the fact to your children that the divorce is an issue between two adults in a relationship, and is not involved in their feelings for them.

Other UK Services Found Online

Divorce Recovery Workshop and Ondivorce list other UK websites all offering help and advice in different areas of support, including 24 hour helplines.

Some of these groups actually offer courses in how to deal with the emotions involved in divorce, and then how to rebuild yourself and your life afterwards.

The Divorce Recovery Workshop is a group offering all sorts of help, and is run by people who have experienced and come through the other side of divorce.

Other Sources of Support

Aside from finding help online, it can be a good time to investigate what your community can offer you. Support can often be found within your local church community. You don't necessarily have to be religious to use this source of support. Group meetings for people who want to meet new people, and discuss their situation may be available to you. Similar programs are often run at community centres. Even where divorce is not the subject, becoming an active member of your community can help to show you that there are other things and people in life that have nothing to do with your marriage breakup.

Counselling

If it all becomes too much for you, and other methods of support are not enough, it may be time to investigate counselling. You can contact the British Association for Counselling who will help you find the counsellor you need in your area.

Here are additional resources you might be interested in:

More information on dealing with Children and Divorce.

Divorce Information in the UK

Are you considering getting a divorce? There's an excellent ebook about deciding whether to Get a Divorce or Stay In the Relationship. Every couple should read this before making the decision.

If you're on the verge of having a divorce, read this to Save Your Marriage.