Whether you have been referred to a mediator that works within your family law firm or you have been directed toward a mediator by your divorce lawyer, it’s a good idea to have questions to as a prospective divorce mediator on hand ahead of time. This way you can get a firm grasp on whether or not this individual is right for you. A divorce can be a messy and complex process that requires and entire divorce team. Spending the extra money now to find a good mediator can save you quite a bit of money down the road.
You have to be able to trust your mediator. After all, this is not only your financial future that is at stake, but your involvement with your children, their financial wellbeing, and the potential for you to start fresh after the divorce. Asking questions about the mediator’s experience is of course a priority, but asking questions that are directly related to your fears and concerns can give you an idea about how well you will be able to trust him or her.
If you are worried about the potential custody arrangement or you fear that your spouse is hiding money from the family assets, your mediator’s response will give you a wealth of information. Ask them frankly about their mediation tactics. Some mediators come flying out of the bull pen with verbal and legal assault weapons and others seem to sit quietly and gather information from the other side before speaking. Understanding their tactics can not only help you judge whether or not this is the right mediator for you, but it will also help you understand what is happening during the mediation experience.
One of the most difficult aspects of developing questions to ask a prospective mediator is finding out about their particular bias and their belief system. Mediators are human too and they are bound to have certain perspectives that influence their representation. If your mediator feels strongly that children belong with their mothers and ex—husbands should only get minimal visitation rights (and you just happen to be a soon to be ex—husband) your mediator isn’t likely to fight too strongly for your right to be with your children. Ask them frankly about their views on family and divorce. This way you can find a mediator who can represent you zealously and you can maintain confidence in the style and goals of your divorce mediator.