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With surveys and studies showing a growing number of midlife divorces, many people are wondering whether long-term married couples could ever be safe from getting served divorce papers at any point in their life. You'd think that after spending 40 years together you can actually say that divorce is not a threat anymore. However unusual midlife divorce is, the fact is that they still do happen. Statistics show that most divorce occur early in marriage, but what accounts for the minority in the statistics where people divorce after spending several decades married to each other?
Generally, marriages (at any point in a couple's life) end because of there's a change in the dynamics of the marriage and the couple is not doing a very good job adjusting to this change. For people who are in the early stages of their marriage, dealing with a first child could be that "change" that breaks couples off. For some, it could be adjusting to budget changes because of buying a first home. For couples who have enjoyed a long marriage, it could be different things.
It could be a sickness or physical difficulties. At a certain age, men and women alike experience changes in their bodies which could lead to a more strained relationship. It could be a serious health problem like cancer, or a normal body process like menopause.
Another change that some couples don't handle well is retirement. It's interesting how work changes the dynamics of people's relationships. Take work away and you think you have so much time to enjoy together, only to find out that it's not always all you thought it would be. Work keeps you busy and productive and taking the time apart so you can come together at the end of the day could also be healthy for the relationship. Being together all the time has its benefits and challenges. For people who are struggling to enjoy retirement, the problem could be either boredom or lack of financial freedom to truly enjoy retirement. It's a kind of change that could really do a number on a marriage.
Retirement could also have been preceeded by a different kind of strain, which is having an empty nest. With all the children gone off to college or already starting their own family, it could challenge parents' sense of purpose.
One may actually realize that they devoted too much of their life on their career and their children and have neglected to work on their marriage. Most of the couples who fail to rediscover each other at this point say that they have just "grown apart". To overcome this feeling of aimlessness, of growing apart, or a lack of compan
ionship, it's best to really open the lines of communication. Talk about your new expectations of the marriage and try to discover new things that you can enjoy together.
Simple things such as discovering a new picnic spot, trying out new restaurants, discovering a new hobby together can really help couples avoid midlife divorce.
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