Marriage And Separation Advice

There are several stages for any couple. They're engaged, married, separated or divorced. But there is a fifth stage and it is called 'unhappily married'. This is the stage which causes sleepless nights, moody silences and shouting matches. But this is the stage where a marriage which is in trouble can be saved.

How do you know your marriage needs to be saved? What is the point of no return? How can my marriage be saved?

Well here are some points to address those questions.

• The sooner you seek help the better
• If you are worried about the strength of your marriage, seek professional help
• Many marriages are saved and yours could well be one of them
• Help can take various forms including residential workshops, DVDs and one on one sessions

Choose the Right Treatment

So you believe your marriage is in trouble but both partners want to try and save it. Fine but make sure you seek professional help which is more likely to help than hinder. Yes it is possible to work with a professional who may see divorce as the best solution to your problems. To avoid this situation, here are some tips in selecting the best possible therapist.

1. Check out the track record of your possible therapist. What number of couples have they worked with in say the last twelve months? What percentage of those couples are still together i.e. how many marriages did this therapist save? If the therapist can't or won't answer those questions, you might be better off looking elsewhere. The primary goal of the therapist should be to save your marriage. If they can't commit to that objective, do look elsewhere.
2. Training and experience. There are therapists and there are therapists. Find out if your would-be therapist has had specific training in marital therapy. Find out what specific experience they have in dealing with saving a marriage. Remember there is a big difference between offering therapy to an individual and therapy to a couple. And if the couple are having problems, the skill of the therapist is to (a) discover the problem or problems and (b) to guide the couple to a solution where both parties are happy.
3. Flexibility. If your proposed therapist has a strict set of rules about how people should behave, you may have the wrong professional. Every marriage is unique and so too is every proposed solution. Seek out a therapist who is flexible and wants to find the right solution to your particular needs.
4. Leave mid-course. If you sign up with a therapist and during the sessions you feel unhappy, leave. You should feel free to end the therapy if you believe the therapist is maybe taking sides or setting strict deadlines or anything with which you are uncomfortable. The most important person in the session is you so don't be bullied or remain in a situation if you are uncomfortable.
5. Look forward not back. Therapy in some cases is about your childhood or the early days of your marriage. It is not always the best approach. The way to save your marriage is not to play the blame game but to set definite aims for the future. Aims such as how each person will behave. Concentrate on tomorrow and forget or pass over yesterday.
6. Be true to yourself. All the advice in the world won't help if you deny your feelings. How do you feel about the situation? Sometimes the best advisor is yourself. Trust your instincts.

One Proven Marriage Saver

Dr Joseph Melnick has devised a program called The Us Factor. It consists of 11 DVDs, a 232 page workbook, bonus CD and a telephone counseling service. It's a program which has been around for many years and which has produced outstanding results. It is ideal for couples who wish to save their marriage.

Actually it is also darn good for couples in a stable marriage but who wish to make their marriage even better.

One of the better parts of the DVDs is that they feature real couples talking about their concerns with Dr Melnick. Other couples, you, in the privacy of your own home, can (a) learn about marriage difficulties experienced by other couples and (b) watch the techniques and solutions suggested by the therapist.

There are many advantages to the program called The Us Factor. You don't have to travel see a therapist. You don't have to unburden your life story to a stranger. There is a money-back guarantee on the program and the total cost of the course could well be less than just one visit to a therapist.

To learn much more about the program, TheUsFactor.com is a web site with heaps of information.

Experience is a great teacher and Joe Melnick is a great student. He has run face to face sessions with literally hundreds of couples. All that experience has been put into The Us Factor program; experience you can benefit from by watching and re-watching the eleven DVDs.

Whatever your marriage situation and whatever the method of therapy you choose, the main factor to consider is who makes the final decision. It should always be you. No matter what your therapist suggests or recommends, you and your partner are the most important players in the whole process.

Don't make any decision unless you are confident it is right for you and your marriage.

You should go into any therapy with the only goal being to save your marriage. It might be the final chance you have but your goal must be a positive one. You must want to save your marriage. Go into the therapy with a will to win for you and your partner.

Remember there are three things to consider. Why is my marriage in trouble? What goals have my partner and I got for the future? How can both partners behave to achieve our goal of saving our marriage?

The best piece of news is that a huge number of marriages get into trouble and many of them have been saved.

Here are additional resources you might be interested in:

Fix your Marriage Now, click here.

Read more about Dr. Joseph "Joe" Melnick, click here.

Help Save Your Marriage