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There's a recent study that shows couple who don't share chores are more likely to divorce than couples who do share household chores. It sounds fairly simple but many people do not understand how pulling your own weight at home in this day and age can really make a huge difference in terms of how happy your spouse can be.
Gone are the days when women are expected to stay home and tend to the house and children. However, there are some men who are still stuck with the notion that they should have nothing to do with keeping the house because that's not their role in the family. Many women have to endure the unfair double-standard that says no matter what they're busy with at work, they still need to cook dinner at the end of the day.
It's not just the physical exhaustion that can wear women down but also the emotional distress of feeling like what they do isn't important enough. Or at least not as important as what their spouses do. The more physically and emotionally exhausted one person is, the more likely it is that fights would be more explosive and frequent.
Here are a few suggestions to help you out with dividing the labor at home so that it doesn't end up dividing you:
- Assign a task to each member of the household. If you have more tasks assigned, the burden of maintaining the house won't be as taxing. Don't just ask your spouse to help, divide the labor and assign the task to him/her rather than taking ownership of everything and just asking him/her to help out. Assigning a chore to somebody gives them responsibility over this task and gives them ownership of it.
- Be on the same page as your spouse. Your spouse may just look at this issue as an issue of chores, or keeping the house in order rather than an issue of keeping the balance and peace at home. Make sure that you communicate with your spouse the purpose of dividing the chores so that you both understand what it means.
- Divide the chores together. It would make a lot more sense to divide the chores together rather than just hand out tasks. Make a list of chores that you absolutely hate doing and have your spouse do the same. Split the items on the list equally.
- Don't let the division of labor stress you out. The point of this whole exercise is to remove stress from the shoulder of one person by sharing it. If your spouse has a different timetable or method of doing things, respect that.
Minimizing the conflict at home will help keep divorce at bay. Remember that it's the little things that can start huge problems in a marriage.
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