Divorce Guide :: Marriage and Separation Advice :: How do I stop my divorce?
 
How do I stop my divorce? E-mail
"If you mean how you can legally stop your divorce, you can't."
If you mean how you can legally stop your divorce, you can't. You might be able to delay the case by filing a motion to dismiss but eventually, if your partner seeks to obtain a divorce and follows the correct procedures, the divorce will be granted. And the task is made even easier today when in so many countries, the sole grounds for divorce as what are known as 'irreconcilable differences' i.e. you don't get on.

However, if you mean how can I prevent my divorce, well that's an entirely different question and there are many suggested ways to help make this come about.

Presumably you and your partner have been arguing; seriously arguing. This is a common stage before separation and then divorce. The sooner you can recognize the problems your marriage is facing the better your chances are of preventing the divorce from taking place.

One of the worst things you can do is to react. Your partner says or does something which upsets you. By reacting, by becoming angry and even abusive, you simply exacerbate the situation. A minor dispute can escalate quickly into a major confrontation. You have to become very good at holding your tongue. The best response is often no response.

The dispute situation is made worse if there are children involved. They do not deserve to see and hear their parents in a slanging match. Children need several things and love and security are at the top of the list. An argument which impacts on your child or children will not help restore your relationship. In fact it may well speed up the break-down.

How you relate to your in-laws and even your friends is important. If you complain about your spouse to relations and friends, you are doing nothing to help mend broken fences. By all means consult an independent person and even a professional counselor. But avoid disparaging remarks about your spouse to others.

It can be a most difficult task to keep on living with a spouse with whom you have fallen out of love. If you have children you may be in the family home for their sake. Whatever else you do, try hard to be polite. You may wish to argue, to scream and fight but your marriage will have no hope of survival if you become aggressive and rude. Of course it is difficult but keeping out of one another's way is a good place to start. If nothing else, think of the children.

It is important for you to remain strong and seemingly neutral. Giving in to every demand can be counter-productive and being affectionate because you think it's the right thing to do is also not recommended. Try and be natural.

If your spouse talks about a divorce, your best response could be to let them be the one to initiate the conversations. Become a good listener. You may need time to change their mindset. What is needed is patience and willingness to listen and possibly change. Rome wasn't built in a day and the re-birth of your marriage is likewise, a work in progress.

There's an excellent ebook on how to help save your marriage Stop Your Divorce. Read it before it's too late.

Here are additional resources you might be interested in:

Stop Your Divorce

How can I Stop My Military Divorce?

Save My Marriage

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