As a man, facing divorce you often have some special considerations that you should consider that a woman does not always consider, or has already considered prior to filing for the divorce. While each circumstance is different, there are some basic pieces of advice that are universal for almost all cases.
First and foremost,
be the first one to file if you feel a divorce coming on. The reasons for this is because it is better to be in front of the judge as the first party to be speaking, rather than the person always defending yourself. If you file first you are the plaintiff, rather than the defendant. Your spouse is the defendant, which means they must defend themselves against your claims. Many people do not realize how important this single aspect is, yet many lawyers and other legal professionals claim it does not matter.
Another important piece of advice is to always prepare yourself.
Never leave the marital home without a court order forcing you. Also, as much as possible try to know what legal strategy your spouse is taking. This will help you plan, if your spouse is trying to get you to leave the home, they are setting you up to lose the home. Often the spouse who leaves the marital home is who loses the home while the other party is often awarded the house.
In addition,
if you leave the marital home without the children you are setting your spouse up to win custody. This is a shock to many devoted fathers that is often not fully realized until after the spouse has won custody and it is too late to correct the mistake. You may think leaving the marital home and leaving the children with your spouse will be less stressful, however the judge will look at it as you abandoned your children.
While trying to protect yourself in the face of an impending divorce you should also realize that
until the divorce is finalized, any debts that are acquired under a joint account could be placed on your side of the debt distribution. This means that if your spouse runs up $20,000 in credit card debt on a joint account you could still be ordered to pay half if not all of it. To combat this problem, close all joint accounts immediately, and request written confirmation from each company. Once you have closed the joint account, you can reopen an individual account if you wish, but this will protect y
ou from your spouse adding to the marital debt suddenly.
If your spouse files for divorce first, never contact their lawyer unless you are representing yourself. Even then never expect your spouse's lawyer to talk to you; they will never speak to you as they do to another lawyer. If you hire a lawyer, look for someone who is not best friends with your spouse's lawyer. If your lawyer is too friendly with your spouses' lawyer then you could be looking at a lot of problems. You want a lawyer who is knowledgeable, and believes in your standpoint. If the lawyer you talk to seems more concerned about your spouse, then find a new lawyer.
Couples often make the mistake of using a single lawyer for their entire divorce. This is a bad idea, while using one lawyer for the wife and one lawyer for the husband may seem like a great idea to save money, it is actually a huge mistake. Doing so makes it impossible for the lawyer to determine whose interest is best to protect. This means that while you may think you are getting great advice and saving a ton of money by using only one lawyer it is not a good idea at all. You could be setting yourself up for a huge legal mistake quite quickly.
As you can see, some of this advice is something that you may never discover until after the divorce is over and it is time to deal with the legal consequences. However, with plenty of thought and research into things before filing and a close watch over your case, you can walk away from the divorce without losing everything in the process. Never blindly believe any legal advice that sounds far-fetched. If you do not believe what you are being told, do research to verify it is correct before your case is ever completed.
Here are additional articles related to the topic:
Here are additional resources you might be interested in: If you're on the verge of having a divorce, read this to
Save Your Marriage.
Also, there's an excellent ebook about deciding whether to
Get a Divorce or Stay In the Relationship. Every couple should read this before making the decision.
After you're done with divorce, pick up a copy of
Divorce Dad's Survival Guide in order to learn how to cope up with life after divorce.
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