Marriage And Separation Advice

The term 'divorce' was originally used in pagan Roman, and referred to the mutual separation of a married couple. However, it is not clear whether this actually resulted in a formal dissolution of the marriage bond.

'Divorce' is used within the Church and ecclesiastical law with neutral significance. The dissolution of the marriage bond must be referred to as 'absolute divorce' (divortium plenum or perfectu), where mutual separation of lives with the maintenance of the bond in the eye's of God being a 'limited divorce' (divortium imperfectum).

Within the Christian religions, it is believed that God provides the gift of marriage. It is consider being the only right manner in which to create the atmosphere and circumstance in which to engage in sexual relations; in order to build a family.

Therefore, the gift of marriage, importantly in church and in front of God, is precious and not one that should be taken for granted.

The Bible is clear that Christians should divorce as a last resort. It advises that the path to a successful marriage is for both parties to put God and Christ above all others, including their spouse and family: "The first way to ensure your marriage will be a happy one is to put Jesus before any other part of your life. Once you get that straight, other things will begin to fall into place. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33).

The Old Testament tells us that God himself does not consider the act of divorce to be a sin.

However, this does not mean that he approves. In Malachi 2:16, God hates divorce. We identify Christians with their ability to forgive, reconcile and restore relationships (Luke 11:4; Galatians 5:22-23; Ephesians 4:32).

Where Pharisees asked the question of Jesus in Matthew 19:8, Jesus replied 'Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.'

The bible states acceptable reasons for divorce in Matthew 19.9, as unrepentant adultery; and in Corinthians 7:15, as abandonment of a Christian Spouse by a non-Christian spouse.

Deuteronomy 24:1 says, "If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce..."

God dislikes Christian divorce but does not declare it as sin. It is therefore lawful and without penalty within the Church.

'Absolute Divorce' within the Christian religion.

Marriage in the Christian church is seen as the ultimate privilege and bond, in the eyes of God, between two people. The marriage implies the restoration, by Christ himself, of marriage to its original indissolubility. There can never be an 'absolute divorce', once the marriage has been consummated.

Where the bond of marriage is not considered to have been recognised by God, an annulment or Decree of Nullity may take place.

Within the Catholic Church, there are strict guidelines set by the Church to establish whether or not the marriage is valid. Although not the same as divorce, the process is similarly stringent in its demands, and can take up to two years. It is important to state that no divorce has taken place, in the eyes of God, but that it has been established that no recognised marriage took place.

Reasons for annulment can include: where information was hidden before the ceremony (previous marriage or infertility), the psychological incapacity of a partner to understand the commitment of marriage, and the non-consummation (by sexual relations) of the union.

Where an application for a Decree of Nullity fails, the marriage is deemed to be confirmed, by Christ himself. There can be no 'absolute divorce' in the eyes of God, even where the court of law has proved a 'decree absolute', and both parties have gone there separate ways.

Consequences of Christian Divorce

God does not declare 'divorce' as a sin, so within the Christian faith no penalty is paid.

Christians may continue their religious path without repenting.

Problems occur later in life, where new unions are formed.

Whilst the separation of lives has been accepted, the bond of man and woman still exists: "Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate." Matthew 19:6

Answering Pharisees in Matthew 19:8, Jesus accepts that divorce is better than the Israelites hearts being hard, but also reminds him that "anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman, commits adultery."

Also in Matthew 5:32 is said, "...anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery."

Where divorce becomes increasingly common in non-Christian marriages, it is also true of the Christian marriages. Lifestyle and demands upon us are ever-changing. Exposure to new people and relationships are much higher than in the days of the scripture. It is true that people migrate further than ever before, and that persons of differing social standings are more likely to form unions than previously.

Where one or both follow the religion of Christ, relationships where one or sometimes both have previously entered into a Christian divorce, difficulties of conscience occur.

Any future union is deemed to be a sin, in eyes of God and Christ. Therefore, penalty must be paid.

Remarriage in Christian Religions

The Catholic Church still welcomes those who have remarried to worship God in his Church, but they are not permitted to take the Eucharist. This is devastating to them, as it forms an important part of their following of Christ. In general, divorce rates in Catholic communities are much lower than others.

Remarriage can only take place in a Catholic Church if an annulment is granted by the Church. This follows the process discussed above, and determines the marriage as not having existed at all.

The Church of England also teaches that marriage is for life. It will, however, allow remarriage in church under exceptional circumstances. It is left to the clergy to determine whether the marriage is appropriate for the community and religion. Similarly in the Methodist and Baptist Church, the decision is left to the conscience of the minister.

Are you on the verge of having a divorce? Read this to Save Your Marriage.