Life After Divorce

If you are recently separated women then of course one of the things you will have to decide is if you are going to take time apart and then work on your marriage or decide if the marriage is over and there is nothing to save. If you are going through a divorce then you will have to deal with many thoughts and feelings. If you are divorced you may have to work with your ex partner when it comes to children, custody and visitation rights. Here are some helpful tips and advice for getting through your situation.

TIP: please take a look at the Women's Guide to Surviving and Thriving During a Divorce. It's a great book published by DivorceGuide.com and contains all the information that you will need before or during a divorce.

• If you are separated and you are going to divorce, the first thing you need to do to is to find yourself a good lawyer. Even if the divorce is an amicable one, you may still want to take the advice and help of a solicitor especially if there are children involved and both partners want custody of the children.

• If you and your partner have joint savings then you may want to contact your bank and close the account and share finances out equally. If you have joint credit cards then you will want to close these too as if your partner should max out credit cards and refuse to pay, you are liable as joint holder to pay debts on the card.

• If the separation is going to end up in divorce and there are children involved in the marriage, you may want to work with your partner on a parenting plan. Not only can a parenting plan help partners after divorce but it can also work out better for children. A parenting plan can include as detailed information as you want and usually you can put such things in the plan as when the partner who has visitation rights is able to spend time with children. You can also work out who picks children up from school or after school activities and who has children over school holidays.

• During a separation that will ultimately end in divorce, you may want to take this time to get all your affects in order. Ensure that you have paperwork relating to financial matters up to date and anything else that is relevant when dividing assets that have been gained during the marriage. Leaving this until the last minute may mean that you miss something important and this could lead to you losing out.

• If your breakup is amicable then it may help to work out what you are your partner are going to do in regards to the family home and any shared finances before you go to lawyers. If you work out a plan and write it down, before you hire a lawyer, this may save you money on fees. For instance, you may agree that any money in bank accounts will be split 50/50. You may reach an agreement that states the partner who has custody of the children will remain in the property until the children are 18 at which time the property will be sold. You may decide that the partner staying in the property will pay the other half of what the property is worth. By reaching amicable solutions such as these, you keep down the time spent with lawyers arguing such things as these out, who charge fees by the hour.

• If you are going through separation, divorce or getting over a divorce it is important that you take some time for yourself. Each day take an hour or so to do something that you enjoy, this may be gardening, reading, watching TV, or just about anything, you like doing. This allows you to relax and just be yourself and forget about everything else for a short time.