Life After Divorce

This is a great compilation of divorce quotes from various sources. Some of these are funny, some are profound, some are inspirational... Sometimes you just have to laugh!

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
- Robin Williams

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
- Elayne Boosler

It wasn't until I got divorced that I understood the value of money.
- Melanie B.

The happiest time in any man's life is just after the first divorce
- John Kenneth Galbraith

The worst problems for children stem from parental conflict, before, during, and after divorce or within marriage.
- Stephanie Coontz

We are divorced, we are friends, and we are good parents.
- Sarah Ferguson

Many divorces are not really the result of irreparable injury but involve, instead, a desire on the part of the man or woman to shatter the setup, start out from scratch alone, and make life work for them all over again. They want the risk of disaster, want to touch bottom, see where bottom is, and, coming up, to breathe the air with relief and relish again.
- Edward Hoagland

It is easier to divorce my wife of 26 years than to fire someone I hired one week ago. The person I hire has more legal clout....than my wife of 26 years. That's wrong.
- Judge Randall Hekman, President of the Michigan Family Forum

This bill is designed to put the guardrails back up.... The guardrails were taken down in 1970 and a lot of marriages that would have stayed on the road and maybe bounced off the guardrails have instead gone over the cliff.... There will still be marriages that bust right through the guardrails because they're just completely out of whack. But marriages that can be saved should be saved, and that's what the bill is designed to do.
- Iowa State Rep. Charles Hurley

It may be that it ought to be a little harder to get a divorce where children are involved.
- President Bill Clinton

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

Divorce is most likely to wreak havoc when spouses declare war on each other and draft their kids.
- Constance Ahrons

TIP: Still unsure on what to do with your marriage due to different problems that have hampered your relationship? Read the Should I Divorce e-book and ask yourself the questions you've been afraid to ask about your marriage!

What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.
- Ellen Burstyn

Divorce puts you on the edge of sanity.
- Abigail Trafford

Divorced fathers measure time by memories, not by the clock.
- Ken Lewis

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
- Will Rogers

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
- Bette Davis

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
- P.D. O'Rourke

A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson

Anybody who's been through a divorce will tell you that at one point. they've thought murder. The line between thinking murder and doing murder isn't that major.
-Oliver Stone

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.
-John Wayne

I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable ... but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
-Agatha Christie

Compared to America or Europe, God isn't a big part of our lives here. I don't know anyone here who goes to church when he's had a rough divorce or is going through depression. We go out into nature instead.
-Bjork

I firmly believe in marriage. It's a real important decision that takes a lot of dedication and time. If you're thinking about divorce. You shouldn't get married.
-Seth Green

Each generation wants new symbols, new people, new names. They want to divorce themselves from their predecessors.
-Jim Morrison

I hate failure and that divorce was a Number One failure in my eyes. It was the worst period of my life. Neither Desi nor I have been the same since, physically or mentally.
-Lucille Ball

Sure, I suffered a lot. But it's not like the end of the world and it's not who I am. I lead quite a pleasant life and I'm able to divorce a perceived reality from my actual experience of life.
-Ben Affleck

I'm so wrapped up in my work that it's often impossible to consider other things in my life. My marriage ended in divorce because of this, my relationship with Holly has suffered by this.
-Jim Carrey

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.
-Johnny Carson

Below are additional resources you might be interested in:

• Breaking Up is Hard to Do, Is Your Marriage Really Over?
• Divorce Frequently Asked Questions
• Life After Divorce