"This party is about new beginnings. Don't do anything that you will regret the next day. This is your chance to start over with a clean slate." Do you need to have planned activities? Choose a location for the party and let everyone know about your party!
Divorce parties are all about celebrating your newfound freedom. They are about letting go and facing the future with hope, happiness, and strength. We all know divorces are painful for everyone involved. They bring about feelings of guilt, vulnerability, and resentment. Stop asking yourself "What if…" and start living again. Throwing a well-planned divorce party can ease the pain and wash those negative feelings away. Divorce parties promote a positive outlook on life, and aid in building a strong support system full of genuine friends who care about your well-being.
The first thing to do is check your negative feelings at the door. Set those feelings aside, so that you can bring positive energy into the planning of your divorce party. Planning will be easier when you are in a better mood. It can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude when things are tough, but a little happiness goes a long way. When you smile, people are much more likely to help you out. No one enjoys being around a Grumpy Gus. Your creative thoughts will flow freer when you are in a better mood as well.
Plan your party on a day close to the end of the divorce finalization. If this date is approaching quickly or has already passed, set the date for the party at least a couple weeks out. You want to have enough time to plan all the details and execute the party without a hitch. Planning and preparing take time, as does taking care of unexpected difficulties. Now that you chose a date, you need to decide who to invite.
Who you invite is really important. Your guests should all be people who care about you. They should all be supportive. At the very least, they should not harbor negative feelings about divorce - particularly yours. Everyone will differ regarding the people who they feel most comfortable around. For example, some people may only want their close friends of the same gender to attend their party. Others may find that the party doesn't really feel like a celebration unless both genders are invited. You may feel that your guests should be divorcees. The important factor is that your guests fit in well with a comfortable, positive atmosphere that everyone can enjoy. Still can't decide? Start a list by naming every possible guest. When you are done, scan the list slowly to determine if each guest would fit in well. If not, then cross them off the list. This is a time for celebration, not for doubts or controversy.
The next step is to choose a location for the party. Possible venues include: local restaurants, bars, or clubs, your house, a friend's house, or even an outdoor park. Where you choose to have the party should reflect the type of party atmosphere you are looking for. You may want a wild party with an x-rated cake, a simple party with streamers, balloons, and flowers, or even an outside barbeque party. This party is about you and your transition into a fresh, new life filled with hope. The party should make you excited, but allow you to feel comfortable as well. Don't choose to have a wild party, if it would make you feel uncomfortable. Your party should have a rejuvenating effect.
Once you choose a location, you should plan what type of decorations and food you want at the divorce party. Envision your party. What do you see? Maybe you see streamers and balloons everywhere. Perhaps tons of voodoo dolls and explicit decorations are more your style. Maybe flowers, which symbolize new life, would help create the perfect setting for your divorce party. Choose decorations that make you feel happy. Good food is essential to a great party as well. You may want to have your event catered, have someone grill out, or have dishes of finger foods spread out buffet-style. Let the food help dictate the party atmosphere; catered food for a more formal event, or simple food for a more relaxed party. Remember to keep an eye on your finances though, because decorations, food, and drinks can add up quickly.
Do you need to have planned activities? Not really. This is another area that everyone will have differing opinions. Some people choose to have healing ceremonies of joy and change, while others burn their marriage license. You shouldn't feel pressure to incorporate any type of ceremony into your divorce party. Your party should feel right to you. If socializing with close friends is what feels best, then go for it. Activities or ceremonies are not required during a divorce party.
A sensitive issue of divorce parties is whether or not to register for gifts. A divorce party is really about spending quality time with close friends and family that support your newfound freedom. A divorce party shouldn't be thrown with the intent to receive gifts, unless the party is for someone that lost almost all of their possessions in the divorce. If the person is starting over from scratch, then registering for gifts could help them obtain some of the essentials they will need in their newly single life. If you do register for gifts, be sure to include inexpensive items too. That way, those who can't afford an expensive gift can still feel that they were able to give you something you want or need.
Now that your party is planned, you need to let everyone know. Send out Save the Date cards or magnets as soon as possible. Give the guests enough time to work out their schedules, so that they can attend your divorce party. Sending the invitations out at least two or three weeks in advance is a good rule of thumb.
Don't forget to plan your outfit in advance. Choose an outfit that makes you feel good. The outfit should be comfortable, fashionable, and fit well. The outfit you wear to the party symbolizes your future outlook. What do you want your outfit to say?
One last note, this party is about new beginnings. Don't do anything that you will regret the next day. This is your chance to start over with a clean slate. Have a safe, fun, and relaxing party with your closest friends and family.
Here are additional resources you might be interested in:
What is a Divorce Wedding Ring?
Divorce Recovery and Coping with Life After Divorce
|
Subscribe
