Divorce FAQ

It's very unfortunate that many divorce cases end up into a war zone, with casualties on both sides. Many people use unethical means to gain an unfair advantage over their soon-to-be ex spouse. The problem with using the wrong means to get an advantage in a divorce case is that it may cause further trouble for you after the divorce has been finalized. This could mean more lawsuits filed against you, more legal fees to struggle with, more court appearances, and such.

People who have not been through a divorce before and don't know any better may not really recognize that they are doing something considered to be unethical divorce tactics. People who were advised poorly by their lawyers or well-meaning friends sometimes don't realize how this could come back and affect them adversely someday. If you have children with your soon-to-be ex spouse, this would greatly affect them as well, and it would be a lot difficult to make cooperative parenting work if you had been through a particularly ugly divorce.

Here are a few common mistakes you should avoid when going through a divorce:

1. Parental alienation - This dirty divorce tactic involves turning children against your spouse. Not only will this be cause for a lawsuit, this will have lasting effects on your children as well. Using your children as cannon fodder for your divorce will certainly not help your children deal with the divorce better, nor paint you in a good light during child custody hearings.

2. Leave all the details to your divorce attorney - It's never advisable to just leave the details of your divorce to your attorney. Keep in mind that you are getting the divorce. It's your life and the life of your children at stake, and so you need to be on top of the situation rather than leave everything for your attorney to fix. Keep a calendar of events. Mark the dates on your calendar when you're supposed to receive a document or when you're supposed to have already sent a document to your ex. Waiting for the very last moment before you furnish your ex with an important document may be interpreted by his party as a dirty divorce trick.

3. On Money matters - You'll get a lot of bad advice on how you can get more money out of the divorce. It's a particularly nasty divorce trick that can leave a bad taste in the mouth of your spouse for many years to come. A more advisable route to take is to make sure all of your properties, bank accounts, and other assets are properly accounted for in order to facilitate a smoother property division. If your spouse is the type who will employ dirty tactics on you, it may be wise to take out half of the money in your joint bank account and inform him/her by writing or in person (preferrably with a witness) of what you plan to do. An equitable division is a more desirable goal to set for yourself on a divorce than seeking to take advantage of your spouse and exposing yourself to legal issues in the future.