Divorce Guide :: Divorce FAQ :: How Can You Safely Get Out of an Abusive Marriage?
 
How Can You Safely Get Out of an Abusive Marriage? E-mail
"The best divorce advice for women who are being abused by their husbands is to find help and leave."

Over the past few years, awareness of domestic violence has grown dramatically. Most states already have established means to help both men and women get out of an abusive relationship and get back on their own feet. Women who are victims of an abusive relationship find it hard to get out of this relationship because there are psychological effects caused by the abuse that they have to deal with. For women living with physically abusive husbands, they may also fear for their life and the lives of their children.

If you have decided to get out of an abusive marriage and begin the process of filing for a divorce, it's important to know that planning is an essential part of being able to safely and successfully leave the relationship. Here are a few free divorce advice for women who want out of an abusive relationship:

  1. Contact a qualified family lawyer - Get in touch with a family lawyer who has a lot of experience with domestic violence. Women who are hesitant to leave their husbands because they are not financially independent may be worried that they won't have the means to pay for a lawyer. It's best to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline and look for lawyers who can give pro bono representation or free divorce advice for women and men who are victims of domestic abuse.
  2. Get a restraining order - Your lawyer can help you file for a restraining order, and the local police department can assist you with informing your husband.
  3. Get out of the house - Until you can formally have your husband out of the house, your primary concern is for the welfare and safety of your self and your children. Get out of the house and stay with family or friends for a while. If you don't have one in the area, you can contact a woman's shelter or even temporarily rent a place of your own.
  4. Prepare before you leave - Before you pack up your things and leave, remember to bring important documents and items. Before you plan the date for leaving the house, make a list of what you need to bring. This is so that you won't need to come back unnecessarily just because you forgot something.
    • Important documents - birth certificate, IDs, passport, greencard, property titles, social security card, and the likes
    • All medications prescribed to you
    • Bank cards, credit cards, important statements
    • Money, jewelries
    • Personal effects that are valuable to you
    • Personal effects that are valuable to your children, like their favorite toys, blankets, etc
  5. Get a PO box - You wouldn't want to have to get your mail at your house, and you certainly wouldn't want your husband to intercept your mail. Getting a PO Box may be just the solution you need for this.
  6. Inform people who need to know about this - Furnish a photocopy of the restraining order to the people at your kids' school. Give a copy to your employer as well to prevent them from inadvertently divulging any information to your spouse when he calls.

The best divorce advice for women who are being abused by their husbands is to find help and leave. Don't wait for things to get better or for abuse to end because chances are, they won't. Statistics show that the abuse only gets worse over time. Change may be difficult, especially if your husband has subjected you to prolonged emotional, physical, and mental abuse. However, there are a lot of people who can help you get out of that vicious cycle. All you have to do is make that first step.

 
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