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Couples who are going through a divorce go through many thoughts and feelings. If children are involved in the divorce then the divorce can be a great deal harder to get through, as the child’s thoughts and feelings have to be taken into account also. A divorce without children can be cleaner cut as once the divorce has gone through couples can both go their separate ways. When children are involved this is not the case as usually one parent will get custody and the other will have visitation rights. When this occurs, many factors have to be taken into account and this is where parenting plans may help.
What are parenting plans?
If visitation rights are given to one partner then of course a timescale needs to be worked out as to when parents has access to the children. If the divorce is an amicable one, then visitation schedule may be worked out between the partners. Of course, many more factors have to be taken into account regarding children. These include the upbringing of the child and making decisions such as which school the child attends, healthcare and virtually any decisions regarding the future of the child. A parenting plan can contain information such as when the child spends time with each parent and what part each of the parents will play in the upbringing of the child. A parenting plan may be simple or it may be as detailed as is needed. Both partners can work on the plan together, if the divorce is amicable, or they can work on separate parenting plans and then try to reach an agreement.
A typical parenting plan may include the times and days of the week which the child spends with parents. It can outline weekend and holiday schedules. If both parents work, it may outline who picks the child up on what day or who picks the child up after school. When considering any parenting plans the best interests of the child should always be taken into account. In other words, the plan should fit around the child, if possible.
The benefits of parenting plans
One of the fears of children who are victims of their parents’ divorce is of not being wanted. If parents are continually haggling over visitation rights, the child may see it as parents just wanting to pass them to the other with neither really wanting them. A well-planned parenting plan provides stability and predictability for both parents and children. If the child is old enough, then you may want them to be involved in the parenting plan and of course, you are able to stick a schedule on the wall so the child can see what is happening and when.
If the plan is followed by both parents, over time this willinstill a sense of security and the child will see routine continuing in their lives. A parenting plan can help to instill confidence in the child and they will feel more secure. Life can also be a great deal easier for both parents and ensures the safety of their child.
When working out a parenting plan it is of course essential that both parents stick to the plan. For example if you have worked out that the father picks up the child as 9am on Saturday and returns the child at 6pm on Sunday then where possible this should be stuck with by the parents. If the father were to fail to pick up the child continually without good excuse, then this may reflect on the child as they may feel they are not wanted by the father. In this case, the agreement would not be in the best interests of the child.
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