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 Child custody battles can be as dirty as divorce battles. Often, one or both parents want to assert that the other cannot be an effective enough parent for their children. When one or both parents decide to take this route to child custody, the proceedings become decidedly ugly. It can also drag on longer than expected and become more expensive as time goes by.
Here are a few tips that can help you respond to dirty child custody tactics:
1. Conduct an honest self-evaluation - Being in denial about what your soon-to-be ex will probably attack you on will not help your chances at all. It's better to know what things need to be worked on, what things aren't true, and which ones are true. It's best to talk to your family lawyer about this so that you can plan a course of action. Being less than honest to your lawyer about some details pertaining your personal live which can be relevant to the child custody proceedings can endanger your chances of being given custody of your children.
2. Keep a journal - Once you know for certain that you want a divorce, or once your spouse has expressed the intention to get a divorce, immediately start a journal or a detailed calendar. Jot down where you are everyday, who you're meeting with and what for. It's easy to forget these things if you don't write them down, and they may come handy when your ex starts flinging mud at you and you need to account for where you are at a specific date.
3. Keep your contact with your ex as civil as possible - The last thing you want to do is give your ex more ammo to use against you during the divorce and child custody hearings. Keep your temper in check and don't do anything out of anger. If your relationship with your spouse has deteriorated to the point where you can't stay in the same room without fighting, make an effort to avoid being with him/her alone. Many people who use dirty divorce tactics resort to false accusations which are hard to disprove and may damage your credibility.
4. Fight back with facts - Keep all documents pertinent with the divorce organized and kept in a safe place. Receipts, letters, notices, statements and the likes should be photocopied and kept secure. If your spouse accuses you of child abuse, think of how you can use facts to prove that you're not doing that. Think ahead in terms of producing proof to prove your innocence, in case of dirty tactics. Keep your child's medical records correct and complete.
A high-conflict ex is setting him/herself up for failure because eventually, extremely angry people will do something that will show their true intent; to hurt you more than think about what is beneficial for the children. A high-conflict parent may not be the best parent to raise your child at the moment. Leverage this with verifiable facts and you can avoid dirty child custody and divorce tactics as well as increase your chances of gaining custody of the children.
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