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Children of different age group respond differently to their parents' divorce. Filing for divorce is already quite complicated but having children to deal with brings a whole set of challenges to the situation. Even though divorces are quite common these days, nothing really prepares you for it. Imagine how a child feels when the whole family structure is rearranged and life as they know it just stops.
Children of varying age groups have been known to respond to divorce in their own ways. Even though each child is unique and special and has his or her own way of coping with the divorce, most of this will still generally hold true for a lot of children. It would help if you're familiar with them so that you can have a better insight on why your child is acting a certain way towards the family's situation.
Preschool (children aged 2.5 years to 6 years)
At this age, children usually have an intense fear of abandonment. They may have difficulties expressing their feelings and turn to fantasizing that their mom and dad will still get back together. They are also more likely to blame themselves for the divorce. Children this age also tend to grow up with feelings of intense loyalty to the custodial parent and may even be capable of developing a good relationship with a step-parent, should the custodial parent remarry. In the future, deep feelings of resentment towards an absentee non-custodial parent may affect their ability to form adult relationships.
Elementary Years (children aged 7 to 12)
Children of this age bracket may be a lot more capable of expressing their anger, fear, sadness, or frustration. Unlike preschool children, they are less likely to blame themselves for their parents' divorce and are more able to respond to members of the extended family reaching out to them. They are also more susceptible to feeling guilt over divided loyalties between parents. Children of this age tend to have more difficulties accepting their parents' remarriage and are more likely to challenge family rules imposed by step parents.
Adolescents (children aged 13 to 18)
Like children in elementary years, adolescents may be more capable of expressing their negative emotions over the divorce. However, unlike children in elementary years, they are more likely to withdraw from their family and shun the company of extended family members. Children this age are also more likely to act out in a big way. They may run away, talk back, or any other means of deliquency and truancy to vent out their frustration.
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