Children and Divorce

Going through divorce can be tough on you, and even tougher on your children. Children and divorce can be difficult to handle. Younger children have difficulties verbally expressing how they feel about the divorce. A lot of times, it's because their capability for language is not fully developed yet.

One way of helping children deal with divorce and express how they feel about divorce is through taking them to play therapy. While adults use verbal communication to make sense out of their emotions, children can't simply talk it out. Play therapy is a counselling approach where playing is used as a medium to help a child to express thoughts, wishes, or needs. It helps children make sense of intangible feelings in their own language and guide them to eventually confront these feelings in a way that they will understand, in a non-threatening environment.

Initially, the therapy sessions first aim to foster a trusting relationship between the child and the therapist. Unlike adolescents who more readily express their emotions as long as they feel the person they are talking with sincerely care about their thoughts, children are a bit harder to coax out of their shell.

Take note that you don't usually bring your child to play therapy as soon as you get a divorce. It may be a premature move to do so and could be counterproductive. It's advisable to be sensitive to certain hints that your child is not dealing very well with the divorce. Sometimes these signs appear a few months after the divorce, sometimes even later.

Some signs that your child might not be dealing well with the divorce is if he/she has started bedwetting, becoming disruptive at school, being more withdrawn than usual, and the likes. Subtle behavioral changes can indicate an underlying issue, and the earlier it is dealt with, the better.

The great thing about play therapy is that a large part of it requires the participation and involvement of a parent or a responsible adult. At times the therapist will involve you in the session, teaching you games that you can play with your child at home which are designed to improve your communication. Regular feedback will also give you an insight on what is bothering your child and how you can help alleviate the stressors that are silently causing damage and hurt to him/her.